Sincerity

I think the past two weeks has affirmed my love for the British and our newly acquainted commonwealth Kiwi.

The beginning of last quarter we were determined to make American friends in an attempt to embrace the Year Abroad experience...

And that's not to say we don't love and appreciate the Americans that put up with our cynicism and obnoxious humors - we do, it's just different.

Something I have noticed and have from then on wondered, is whether Americans actually like us for us, or just for the fact that we're English.

I went to a "frat party" last night and happened to make many "friends" with Americans - both male and female I hasten add. Now, my new suspicion is that some of these people would not turn a blind eye to us if we spoke with an American drawl, but the second we open our mouths they instantly want to become acquainted.

This theory has also been explored after a spontaneous binge drink at the pub with a few people from my English friend and mines class. Once again, instantaneously we had made a whole selection of "friends" who proceeded to migrate in class and sit surrounding us from all angles.

I could go so far as to make a comparison between the way we react when we meet other Europeans and people from the commonwealth. Instantly we bond over the differences in America and being European etc...

Now I'm not complaining or being ungrateful, I'm merely making an observation in the way we have been treated as the "English girls" in a nation of Americans. These bonds that we make with people could be genuine and sincere, but I can't help speculating as to ulterior motives...

Thank God for Saint Nick

I recently undertook a test on alcohol awareness for "college" students for my sorority initiation.

I was mortified when I was asked to fill in the amount of units of beverage I consume in the space a three weeks fearing I would be thrown out due to my disgusting binge drinking... but I was more mortified to find out I had only consumed three units of alcohol in three weeks.

Where has my social life evaporated to?

Never fear, good old Saint Nick season has arrived and I'm more than happy to say I will be returning to the land of tea and crumpets for ten days over Christmas.

I have written a list of things I would like to achieve in this space of time:

1. Eat so much food I gain 10lbs (I can hear the Californian girls gasping in horror)
2. Drink so much I feel ill
3. Dance so much my feet bleed
4. Stay out so late I witness the sun rise
5. Have the messiest, most English filled night of horror that my face is plastered all over Facebook much to everyone's embarrassment but my own

All these things will come with added Christmas cheer and many, many, mince pies...

I was speaking with one of my English friends today who said something that really made me think. She said in America she feel like a lesser version of herself. - And I'm not agreeing this is true as I think she's fabulous, but I feel like California has sucked the life out of me too.

I spend a vast amount of time watching what I say for fear of dirty looks and offending people. And when I do say something that would be considered "banter" in England, I find myself apologizing for being so obnoxious.

Now it may be a bit too early for New Years resolutions, and we may all be too serious and sober for my selfish sentimentality - But in this next year I vow to not pipe down, not apologize for being myself, and will embrace any and all dirty looks that come my way.

Disgustingly I found myself wishing to apologize in advance for what is to come.

On this note and due to the end of finals and "welcome back social life" celebrations, I am going to embrace my "21" years of age and march my English arse to the bar to consume a binge drinking amount of French Martinis.

?

It's been a while and I know I've been seriously neglecting this blog.

Surprisingly enough I've been busy. I'm slowly but surely saving some money - It's anything but glamorous, I clean, look after children, and generally pick up any (legal) work I can. But hey! It's money and it's going to get me where I want to be.

It's a funny thing. As soon as you are granted everything you want, you're suddenly filled with doubts, fears, and begin to question you're previous motives for wanting what you want.

It hit me last night whilst sitting on an alien sofa eating ice-lollies, watching mainstream telly, and praying a disgruntled 1 year old I was sitting would sleep through the night... I'm actually moving. I'm going to be thrown into a world that is foreign beyond anything I can ever anticipate. I was apprehensive to meet this new world of so called "perfection" where boob jobs are rife and money is thrown about with disarray. I neither possess big boobs or have money to spare...

However, whilst going through my morning routine of devouring the blogs I love, I clicked on a link to theseventeenmagazineproject.com. I'm not sure of how to credit this blog or what the general rules are for recognizing other peoples work, but this blog has really made me think. I highly recommend anyone who has doubts about themselves to scroll down and read the post "Hey main stream media...", it features people from around and about basically giving two fingers to what has been fed to them by teen magazines. There are lots of the photo posts on Flickr.com.

It's really helped jolt me out of my fear, it's sad and pathetic that I doubted myself. Now I aim to move to California with my own personality and try not to make myself conform to the stereotypes out there and just enjoy being me. Cheesy, I know but I am moving to the world of walking bumper stickers after all...


p.s. Visa interview next Friday! Final step - eeek!!